Vargit Çiçeği

Mimimimmimiiii

2009-09-08T02:22:00.000-07:00

Mi sorryyy if i hurt you...
Don t be sad..Be a buttefly...
say mi mim mimi
Let's just try to enjoy...As your grandma says..love eachother,kiss eachother...
Don't be sad..Elmo luvss his miii

Heal the World.....

2009-04-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today, the Cold War has disappeared but thousands of those weapons have not. In a strange turn of history, the threat of global nuclear war has gone down, but the risk of a nuclear attack has gone up. More nations have acquired these weapons. Testing has continued. Black markets trade in nuclear secrets and materials. The technology to build a bomb has spread. Terrorists are determined to buy, build or steal one.

Some argue that the spread of these weapons cannot be checked - that we are destined to live in a world where more nations and more people possess the ultimate tools of destruction. This fatalism is a deadly adversary. For if we believe that the spread of nuclear weapons is inevitable, then we are admitting to ourselves that the use of nuclear weapons is inevitable.

So today, I state clearly and with conviction America's commitment to seek the peace and security of a world without nuclear weapons. This goal will not be reached quickly - perhaps not in my lifetime. It will take patience and persistence. But now we, too, must ignore the voices who tell us that the world cannot change.

Barack Obama, Prague, 5April 2009

Button's Button...

2009-04-13T10:23:00.001-07:00

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

City of a Hundred Names...

2009-03-24T05:17:00.000-07:00

My Home...

Another Post regarding to this city....

I was born there...I am so proud of it...Nothing will change the fact that i am from Istanbul...

I want my ashes to join the ground also there...

Living in a city is one thing..

Being in a Alive city is another...

My home is not a place, it is people.

Well said by Lois McMaster Bujold...

I want my home to be next to you...You are my happiness...
I hope one day, maybe one day, you'll understand that city..Not for myself, Not for us, Not for our non-born child...But only for your own self growth my Love...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9abMx6TEhAs

More than...me...is you...

2009-03-23T02:39:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt7L4X4li_k

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

Just a bit of Appreciation...Late..but not too late...

2009-03-23T02:05:00.000-07:00

She cooked me a delicous tomato soup...Thank youuu...
She gave a massage..( finally she started to learn how to do)....Thank youuuu
She danced for me...Thank youuuuu
She kissed all over my body...mmmmm...Thank you...
She prepared me my first picnic...Loved it...Thank you...
She shared a book with me...( even though it is not so intersting, but was sth for me :))) ...Thank youuu....
She loves me....Thank youuu...
She asked for a hug, even i looked like the devil...Thank youuu..
She corrected my english all the time...merciiii...

Thank you God..for giving her to me...

You must become more than just a man in the mind of your opponent

2009-03-20T05:12:00.000-07:00

You have learned to bury your guilt with anger.

I will teach you to confront it, and to face the truth.

You know how to fight six men. We can teach you how to engage six hundred.

You know how to disappear. We can teach you to become truly invisible.

Henri Ducard: Anger does not change the fact that your father failed to act.

Bruce Wayne: The man had a gun!

Henri Ducard: Would that stop you?

Bruce Wayne: I've had training!

Henri Ducard: The training is nothing! The will is everything!

My anger outweighs my guilt.

What have i done ?

2009-03-20T01:23:00.000-07:00

I don't remember crying so much in life before....

I shouldn't have asked.......

Talk...

2009-03-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

The other day you were about to cry my babe...
Because of Love...
Becuase i'd say i'd follow you anywhere no matter what...
I loved you no mater what...year to date...unconditionally...
It's not because of good sex
It's not because of good eating & dining
It's not because of we can speak things that we can not with others
It's not because you are beautiful or smart
It s not because you are very special

It's just because i do love you...it is sth from my inside...

even if you get fat, you get bold, you say dumb things all the time,you become ordinary...
ain't matter...i am gonna love you..always....unconditionally..

But it s up to us...to be happy...Together...
I think i did many sacrifieses for the sake of " us " ....because i believed in you..always....even during the times, when you were not believeing yourself....
The only think out of the logic loop that i have kindly asked you was simple....In many of the fights we had , it was the main topic....
I may be strong...But not that much...You have damaged my love a lot..and the only way that we can re-build things was to be happy all the time...and to be happy, i had to get over with that issue....and just look at to our last couple of weeks...aren't you happier than ever we were ? and why ? thanks to you...I was thinking very little about "that"..Only thanks to you...Yet, because of you...you made me........................

You teased me one more time today ; thank you for the guideliness...
That hurt more than everything...
How i wish...to say nth about any guideline...that you'd done by yourself...that i'd shut the f**k up...How i wish...
I could have just turn my back too...But still, i believe in you...that s why i ve told you those things which you percieved as guidelines.....
You can talk to me...you can make explanations....maybe we agree or we do not agree..but we'll find a common way...because we love eachother...for the sake of you, i am ready to change my path....and for the sake of us, you can find a common way...just talk to me...and maybe i am wrong...and i ll apologize from you...

But Do not tease me...
Do not hang up the phone on my face...
Do not run away from talking...
Just talk...explain me why..Help me understand...

Whatever happens ;
and i am gonna love you unconditionally...as long as you do respect me....

Being asked to verbalize my feelings....Don't push for it...

2009-03-07T23:36:00.000-08:00

Otherwise we lose the most special thing we have and we become to be normal, banal , ordinary,boring couple....

And do not worry...i will give you, i will continue giving you the best words that you deserve...In the best times when they make sense...

Small Details....

2009-03-04T05:17:00.001-08:00

Today she said to me ;

Alina Rutkowska/P... I am sooooo in love with youuuuuuuuu

It was the single moment of my life.....

Forgiveness...

2009-03-02T05:36:00.000-08:00

Forgive me...

For all the phones that i haven't made.

For all the stories that i haven't told...

For all the moments that i haven't visited you...

For all the days, that i have spent w/o telling nothing from myself..

For being a terrible grandson..Forgive me

and Happy Birthday...

Something ( Someone ) to Believe in...

2009-03-02T04:48:00.000-08:00

Life

2009-02-26T01:51:00.001-08:00

Life is very strange my friend.....
Like a human..A female one maybe...Sometimes she's so Lovable...Sometimes she's such a bich...Sometimes she betrays you...sometimes she's the most trustable person ever...
You dream about a girl...That's why we call " her " as the girl of my dreams...And most of the time, what you think in your head, becomes true..and you meet with this girl...eventually..maybe not in this life format, but one day, you do meet her..

Life is like that too...What you think comes true....it just happens...But i still strongly believe in external factors, that may effect things..I am not saying those factors do change things, but they may effect. Then it s totally up to you, how you can cope with those...Those external factors may also open new opportunites...positive or negative ones...You'd never know...Because it's just life...Totally unpredictable...Like a girl...

The thing is, i am tired my friend...i used to battle, cope with everything...But it's just too much....yes, i want to happy...and that's what it is in my head..all the time...i work for it..i try for it....and everytime i feel things are on track, bammm, she betrays me again...
My family always supported me...till the end....and i know they gonna continue supporting me..till the end...I have a lot of friends...but just a few of them, i can trust..till the end...and all those years, i was missing something..someone...a female person in my female life...For the very first time, i do believe there is this person...Beautiful, Smart , Happy and understands me..Listens to me...learns things from me...shares with me...loves me...

I always say ; There's nothing certain in life...and nothing is forever( expect diamonds)
I still say ; There's nothing certain in life...and nothing is forever..but in addition to this, again for the very first time i know what i want...i just wanna be with her...It ain't matter where, how, under what circumcitances...

And once again, so called Life, the slut and the love of my presence, i will be in your path...whether you treat me good or bad...i will try to be happy..once again...and i'll find a way...once again...but this time, i am not alone...

Why vs Why Not

2009-02-25T07:16:00.000-08:00

You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"

George Bernard Shaw.

The Proffessor's Daughter

2009-02-24T06:22:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YXVMCHG-Nk

I always believed in some certain things...

Believed in the energy...

Believed in Goodness

Believed in Life..Togetherness...I believed in Happiness...

Then i believed in YOU...i continously believed in you, no matter what happened...

When i was planing to tell you, i started to feel that i can be with you till the end, no matter what, where ever we are...You'd told me that you would never come with me to Turkey...How much it hurt...But...

Still believed in you...

For the first time in my life, i can tell that i feel in such a way that i belong to someone....

We had hard times..Maybe we'll have even harder times..But i strongly started believing as long as we have eachother, we gonna get through all the obstacles...

Change...is good...

And i think...some other things gonna change too....

Soon...

Not just my job....Also my status....Our's....

AND DO NOT QUESTION MY UNDERSTANDING OF ROMANTISM...

You know, what i am capable of....

You gonna have that....the circle thing...in the very best moment...

As your Father says ; IN

The ONE..

2009-02-23T10:30:00.000-08:00

She can make me laugh like that...

And today ;

She proved that she'll be with me...She'll support me..She'll love me whatever happens...

I have no more questions...

She is the ONE...

And i wanna go with her,Only with her, till the end...

My Home, My job, My Heart, My Soul...IS NEXT TO YOU...

She's opened the window.....

2009-02-12T01:42:00.000-08:00

I was in a dark room...Before you my love...

I was living in my lonely world..which i called, my kingdom...I thougth i was happy there...Before you my beauty...

I had my strong defence walls protecting my heart...from getting hurt..Before you my young woman..

I didn't wanna open my windows to anybody...Before you my "Smile"..

Weird = Special

2009-02-11T04:45:00.000-08:00

It is weird....
One Polish, coming from a Catholic family...
One Turkish, coming from a totally different culture...
Totally two different aspects, two different expectations from life....
And Different experiences....
They both see the actual life from a different point of view...Sometimes they agree, Sometimes not..
They talk..They discuss..They fight....They cry...They make love...They create "the moment"...They are happy..sometimes unhappy...
These are normal things like the normal people do....
What enables them special is they understand their "weird characters" and accept and respect those sides of themselves....
That is why ; She is gonna be the one for him ; That is why He is gonna be the one for her...
That is why, despite everything they have been through , they are still together ...

All they need is , to build up real togetherness on top of this "Special" emotions that make them special, where in the meanwhile, it's seen as "weird" from other people...

They are just too very special weird souls, that love eachother....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWuOh7a6ANQ

The Promise of a Witch

2009-02-03T06:24:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awxnfagxdxQ

I hear your voice

I touch your hair

I see the traces

Everywhere

This house of ours

We used to share

My dream has turned

To nightmare

I sleep no more

I dream no more
There's nothing here

To wake up for

I talk no more

I sing no more

Don't function like

I did before

Because she doesn't live here anymore

She hardly calls at all

Now when she's gone I find myself lost

Staring at the wall

I drink again

I smoke again

There's no one here

To call my friend

I swear again

I'm mad again

So troubled since

I don't know when

Because she doesn't live here anymore

She hardly calls at all

Now when she's gone I find myself lost

Staring at the wall

She doesn't live here anymore

She hardly calls at all

Since she's been gone there's nobody here

To catch me when I fall

Sending out an S.O.S

2009-02-03T06:16:00.000-08:00

She's not "there" anymore.........

Love is a SHIELD

2009-02-02T05:04:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVhPUpG82sU

Love is a shield,

To hide behind,

Love is a field

To grow inside,

And when I sometimes close my eyes

My mind starts spinning round.

Love is a babyIn a mother's arms,

Love is your breath

Which makes me warm,

And when I sometimes close my eyes,
My mind starts spinning round.

There is a feeling

That flows through me,

When you are near

You make it real

And we could live for this ideal.
And all the pictures we run through,
Seem to be perfect,
Seem to be true.

But nothing is quite forever,

Especially staying together.

I don't care now

What comes along,

What counts is us,

No matter what will be,

Just this naivety.

The changing words we're taking in,

Seem to be perfect,

Seem to win.

But nothing is quite forever,

Especially staying together

The roots of us is...

2009-02-02T04:14:00.000-08:00

Despite everything ;
It seems "Pure innocent Love" is about to win....

Loving you...

2009-02-02T04:12:00.000-08:00

What i am going through with you in this last period is just ;
More than words.....

Back to....

2009-01-23T06:10:00.000-08:00

Who i am...

Goodbye the little Kid inside Me...

My Limits of Patience

2009-01-21T00:46:00.000-08:00

I really do not know what to do.....

I am really tired and sick of seeing,hearing,feeling,touching things regarding to her Past.

and i am getting angry...

Patience...just Patience...More Patience...

IN - OUT says a wise man

2009-01-20T00:31:00.000-08:00

IN or (and) OUT
I really appreciate your dad. I see a very very Smart guy from what you have told me

IN
Do you really want me IN ? You say so, but your actions do not match with what you say.
OUT
Your past is past.That's why we call it past. You have to be OUT from there. If you can not , then do not try to take me IN. There is no room available for every mindset there.
IN
You want to create a Happy World around you. Have you ever thought about the fact that, when you are doing that , you are hurting me , the most powerful thing in this world that can make you happier than any other living organism ?
OUT
Contacting with "them" , leaving the door open to the others is putting me OUT of the loop. Do not tell me, you are not aware of it.
IN
I will be IN your life,as long as you mean it not just with your heart, but also with your actions.
OUT
I will be OUT of one's life that does not respect me.
IN
You are inside my mind all the time, every second, every day, every moment.
OUT
I was out of your mind, when you have done all of those actions
IN & OUT
Take a decision. If you want to keep me IN or OUT.

Just one remark ; You know how i always tell you that Life itself, is not written in the books..or in your "sources"..Life is something totally different, strange but also very beautiful. It just does not exist in the books. You expreince it, then you combine your experince with the books and then you create your own Reality.
You wanted to create your owns' w/o expreincing...
You wanted to learn everything in a moment.
But i have told you ; learning is a process. It is a process if you commit yourself and focus on it. You haven't. You have choosen to believe what was written in the books and what was right for you all the time.
There's no certain right or wrong in this world. BUT there is togetherness.When it comes to that , you think before acting how that will effect your partner.Then you understand if it is good ( not right not wrong ) for the both of you.
Meditation, inner piece, creating your own realty...They are the masterpieces of individualism. And that brings selfish actions together. Those are great tools, if you have patience. They will help you develop a lot, if you wanna learn and impelment to your life, not build up your life according to those tools. They just help you how to find the happiniess ; they do not make you Happy by themselves. And your happiniess, is INside you, not OUTside.
You have to digest everything that you are learining, then once you are ready, once you have learnt sth truly, you turn the page to learn new things.

Why do we fall, ? So that we might learn to pick ourselves up.

You just wanna start running once you are in the ground, w/o learning how to pcik up yourself in a proper way.

I've missed it......

2009-01-16T04:12:00.000-08:00

That's the meaning of Life....

This photo is telling so many things....

Source; Special thanks to my brother for this greatest picture taken ever...

Just a few lines about "HER"

2009-01-16T02:49:00.000-08:00

And i have just a few remarks about her, which i have to mention ;
I admire ;
How she is disciplined
How smart she is
How happy she is
How Lovable
How determined when she wants sth
How intelligent
How full of "family love"
How georgeus the way she looks
How beautiful the way she is

Are you really Alone?

2009-01-16T02:30:00.000-08:00

She said she felt "alone" last nite....

Despite to everything i'd done...Every moment i was there...I felt really bad...

I just wanna make her...

Happy...

I am sorry....

My Gift for you today

2009-01-14T09:31:00.001-08:00

Most of your time, you are busy with your own religion ; Wicca

And you know mine ; Shamanisim...

It is a gift to both of us that we are both Pagans...

Everyday, you are getting a little piece from me...But still, It is a question mark to you, who i am in realty

Animals are sacred creatures for Shamans. Actually they do speak to them.

And I'd explained you that Wolfs are sacred animals for Turks.

So, another piece from myself to you ;

A wolf in Shamanism represents ;

Loyalty, success, perseverance, stability and thought.Wolves are also regarded as path finders and teachers.Wolf is represented by the constellation Sirius, the Dog.In the Zuni tradition the Wolf symbolizes the direction East.

Wolf's Wisdom Includes:
Facing the end of one's cycle with dignity and courage
Death and rebirth
Spirit teaching
Guidance in dreams and meditations
Instinct linked with intelligence
Social and familial values
Outwitting enemies
Ability to pass unseen
Steadfastness
Skill in protection of self and family
Taking advantage of change

Anythin' familiar?

So actually, the beautiful roses that are waiting in front of your door right now aren't the real gift of today...These lines about me...are the real present

The Sweetest thing

2009-01-13T04:45:00.000-08:00

My love she throws me like a rubber ball
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
She won't catch me or break my fall
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Baby’s got blue skies up ahead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
You know she wants a dry kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
I'm losing you
I'm losing you
Ain't love the sweetest thing
I wanted to run but she made me crawl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Eternal fire, she turned me to straw
Oh oh, the sweetest thing
I know I got black eyes
But they burn so brightly for her
This is a blind kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfv3lJs5qE

Gaia's Song

2009-01-13T04:13:00.000-08:00

“Flames of passion and seeds of romance grow; I open my heart to love. Now the one who seeks me shall come.”

A Saturday Night...

2008-12-28T03:39:00.001-08:00

Under normal circumcetances, this is an ordinary W/e night for me...
First ,Dinner with them....My Friends...
Then My city...

One of the cloosest Jazz clubs in the world...

And listening once again Ilhan Ersahin...
What possibly could have i asked for more...

Despite to all those thoughts, unclear things, question marks, doubts ...you name it....

I was feeling alone....

I was not complete...

Something..Someone...was missing...I was asking for You...How do you call that ?

Love of the Pagans...

2008-12-28T03:16:00.000-08:00

First, prepare the room where you and your partner will be. Light candles and incense to cleanse the air, soft music to ease the spirit, and flower petals covering the bed or the area you wish to come together, to bring that feel of nature as well as yourselves back to the simple elements of life and love. This will be your sacred space.

Begin by showering together, washing one another to cleanse away the elements of lovers past, so that all is fresh and new. Next, hold one another and focus on the person, allowing your energy, the essence of you to go into them and they into you, so they will feel you totally. As you make love you will have a truly mental, physical and spiritual experience with the person you want to share yourself with.

Source ; I think you very well know the source :)

Hate ??...Just Love...

2008-12-28T02:43:00.000-08:00

These are just some photos from "their" attack to Gaza from yesterday...270 innocent dead..and counting..

They have played the role of innocent from the bery begining..They have been sheding fake tears..Tears of an alligator...They have been using everybody...They say from the very begining, all the big empires tried to genocide their race....

And we..we are so stupid to believe to their fake tears and we pitty on them...Let's say Hitler was crazy...But also the Egptians?the Visigoths ?Romans ?

Then we should ask ourselves, why people do hate them ? We should look from both aspects..to everything..I am not gonna tell you, go and examine them..Just read their Torah, sections of Yeremya and Isiah...Then you gonna see, who hates who...There you gonna find out who is the real "Nazi"s ? And their cruel plan to conquer the world...And this is written in their Holly Book...Which should be about peace,love and faith...Just read those sections...Its gonna be enough...

A quick remark about myself ; i used to blame a lot...All of these..Why it was happening ? What s the fault of those babies..What have they done wrong ? And millions of other questions...I will never find the answer...I stopped asking those questions...Maybe it s just, i am full of Love in these days..and which comes to the quote of my life ;

“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic cords of memory will swell when again touched as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature.”

Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it.

It's not fair...

2008-12-26T15:30:00.000-08:00

It feels like the betreayel of the innocent expectations to my heart...
I hoped...

I wished...

I expected....

I dreamed....

I said ; Maybe....

But now...Back to realty...

Nobody is innocent...and i realized that it's too late for me to have expectation(s) for the list of the " first in my life time " things...

I have waited...i have saved everything...everything..All those years...

To say the magic word, to open my heart, to share my songs , to introduce to my family, to go around the world, to make love in various positions, to hear special things...to be committed..to feel like she does everything for me..just , only and for the first time for me...

I have waited....To share the same feelings..the same things...the same " first " things....

And ....

I've realized that i've lost my virginity for a non virgin

Does that make me love her less...No...

Does that make her less special...No...

It's just...My wise friend once told me this ; Never ever have great expectations...Choose life...Do not choose people...

I disagreed...I wanted to wait till i find "the one"...i have saved all my virtues that all the women wanted to taste, to experience...i've hidden my world from all the females in my life such that there started to occur a line outside...

I didn't choose life..I'd chosen to wait for "her"...To feel real special...

I'd found her...But...

I feel...

Cold...

Alone..

Outside...

A Great Movie...Not a cliche Love story...

2008-12-24T16:27:00.001-08:00

11 Reasons why she may be THE ONE ...Is she ??

2008-12-24T15:47:00.000-08:00

1. You care for her

(I clean the coffe on your shoes , i worry about the tires of your car more than mine , i pray for you and for your family , i wonder about your development at work and i collect feedbacks for you , i cook for you, if you are tired i give up my will and just sleep next to you, i drive you every where, i wonder when you don't get mhome,i made you stay in one of the best hotels and made u fly in business, i always make plans for you..in other words..i simply take care of you....)

2. She puts herself into your shoes.

She cares about you so much that, before taking an action, she thinks about you and how that decision will influence you and your relationship and eventually her. She makes you feel that she tries to understand you.As a boyfriend you feel a great respect from , which may lead both of you to a future marriage.

(...............???????????????????...............)

3. You find yourself unable to concentrate
Being productive at work has become increasingly difficult, listening attentively in class is a daunting task, and all you can think about is when you will see her next. As pathetic as it may be, you cannot wait to see her again, and you even consider calling her to let her know just that.
( You are always on mind - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2pNF_IXfyI )

4. You ask yourself where she has been all your life
She wants to know all about you -- the good and the bad -- and is not turned off by the latter. You envision yourself married to her and wonder what your kids would look like. While this thought would have made you nauseous years ago, it now brings a smile to your face.
(from 3 km to 300 km..now, from 300 km to god knows how many km's....i am just asking to myself...why? even those 9 months...would have make so difference....)

5. Chemical balance
You have so much chemistry oozing between the two of you that you have no choice but to give into temptation. She is on your mind at all times, and every time you go shopping alone, you end up buying her something. You can stare at one another and not say anything for hours; you have achieved "the comfortable silence".
(Every decision i make...i think of you...i think of us...i think of how it will effect us....and i think from your point of view...all the time)

6. You get mad when others debase her
Whether it's your friends, family or some stranger, you get irritated when people say mean things about your woman. You contemplate smashing their skulls, but opt to make them eat their words instead.
( You have no idea about that....i am not gonna give you the details, but....In a man's world, it happens...Especially If one has an ass like yours and with a flirting "reputation".... not so good for me...people talk...especially men talk dirty...i wish you wouldn't have done all of that...we could have been so peaceful right now... )

7. You forget about your ex
You've been thinking about the ex-girlfriend for some time now, until you meet the goddess that is her. From the time you first laid eyes on her, you seem to have finally turned a new page. You still look at other women, but it's just "looking".
Yup, she may just be the one...
( what ex??i don't even look to other women...excluding Monica Bellucci)

8. You forget your friends
You always chose hanging out with the boys first and the girlfriend second, only now, playing pool and having some drinks with your buds isn't as interesting as it used to be. You prefer to see her and pass up the friends.

9. She has fun with your family
You cringe at the thought of her meeting grandpa Joe and hearing about his sordid tales... but when the big day comes, you realize that she actually finds his stories funny. She seems to care for your parents and likes your siblings. She loves your friends and family.
( well, at least you had the homour of being first...meeting them...and they liked you....a lot...they ask about you...a lot...)

10. She gets along with your friends
She meets your friends one by one, and you get the eerie impression that she likes them and could actually get along with them. Better yet, she understands and encourages you to spend time with them and have your own life.

11. You trust her.
You have had difficulty trusting women your whole life. Then one day, you realize that you can trust the woman standing beside you. For the first time in your life, you don't think twice about opening up about personal matters or letting her take care of important objects; you know that you can turn your back to her and not worry. You even want to introduce her to your friends and family.
(............................??????????.............)

Once upon a time....

2008-12-24T14:40:00.000-08:00

Istanbul Today....

2008-12-24T14:15:00.000-08:00

Istanbul is tired today...

She's sad and old...a little bit fatter also...

and cried again....shed tears to the sea...

But still...it's so beautiful...every season in Istanbul...

Especially if the rain stops before the evening ,then the maiden tower and the islands seem so unique...

I remember fishing in Istanbul..little kisses of my grandma..playing soccer on the street with my friends...i remember my favorite umbrella chocolate...my favorite street...where i was born...My first doctor...my first teacher...i remember me...my dad...i remembe rmy dad..how strong he was...my mum was so young...my brother was so lovable...

You don't know me...You don't know my past...what i did...Believe me...First time i feel i belong to someone...believe me ; i am not someone that i look like...especially in bed..your favorite question ; you'd be surprised if you'd know the answer...and sometimes, i do joke with you..just to see your reaction...i am not like others...even the..forget it..ain't matter to share with you...All you need to know is ;

It's not always easy to kiss someone...

It's not easy to make love without loving....without feeling...

It's not easy to get to know a body...Then getting used to it..and then losing it...

Maybe now you'll understand why i still couldn't get over with some things....

I am like Istanbul...

Tired...

Cried enough...

Old...

Jealous...Unique...betrayed...Lovable...Not Asking for Love...but respect...

Going with the flow...

but with you...

Maybe not this time my old friend...

2008-12-24T14:05:00.001-08:00

mmm...

I'd missed him...His songs have always reflected a part of me, or a period of me...more, the mood of me

His latest album ; Self-Potrait ; just listened a couple of songs...

And he is happy...

is this a sign..

or..another sign ?

The way of the Warrior

2008-12-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

When you were born, you were born with wisdom...with Love...And with a great knowledge..

To become a better person , All you need is to have ; Loyalty and Honor until death...

Then, you can be peaceful....

Source ; The Way of living Bushido

Storm Clouds Gathering

2008-12-24T13:01:00.001-08:00

I had to do it…I had to find the answer…I have found it..You are not gonna like it…But I am gonna be honest with you…As always I have ever been…
I went to listen to myself today....
i listened to the waves...
i listened to the birds...
i listened the freezing sensation of the silent, but cold air...
i listened the movement of the clouds, that were dancing in the sky
i listened to my favorite songs....
Then i started not to listen...
At that point...my inner philosophy
it started to whisper to me ;
Caring, it's free you know
No matter which way the winds blow ,it stays ,and doesn't go.
Though our own heartbreaks, we recount our own mistakes
We learn more about what love takes in every passing day
But we need honesty and respect too...
True Love is nothing if not shared ,my dear Alinka
just dreams of love can't be compared
because the gift of love is in the giving, sharing,talking, caring,putting yourself into your partners shoes..
and without love there is no living in this life..This you know better than me, as a witch coming from Love..
Yes, it s not just you are becoming a better person. I’ve become a better man too,
more able to see clearly to give love and to understand
but if truth be told I feel so alone in this relationship...
Inside, deep down there, there is more...
I'm sure, I feel it , still coursing in my veins
as raindrops fell into my forehead today in the beach,
and reminded me that sadness of all times with you...
Mine is not a selfish heart but a fragile one...i had my reasons to protect it...i thought you were different, special..that you would be honest..that you wouldn't betray..that you wouldn't lie..that you wouldn't play games behind my back...I have trusted you...i made my deal with the devil , just by trusting you...I opened my heart..and gave my virginity..everything i'd offered to you...You just took it...and continued doing what you believed...without any respect...
You are still special to me...Why Why i ask to myself...Why you have opened doors not be closed ? Being sorry will never change things...Past is past..but once you drag it...it is inside me now...Today, i am sorry to tell to you, but i have noticed, those things will be there forever...
It's not easy...i have tried tried tried...but i am tired...and so far, you haven't sponspored me at all...
I had a fight..fighting to forget the things that you have dragged...But your lies, things you have hidden,you have said, how you hurt me...You were just not next to me when i was trying to fight...You didn't get this...and i gave up...and it's too late i think...
I've tried and it’s just no good...
The past that you have dragged to our present is just a source of sadness,
and even I wish to leave it somehow if I could...
but my feet are bound in lead ,and my heart locked in a box carved out of wood
Easy for you to say, focus on now, focus on us, which matters...
But it's not easy for me to experience and go all through this...Despite my great love to you, i will never be able to forgive you, of what you have put me through..
Then i wanna walk away..i start going... walking away one more step from you everything that you have done to me...

But something calls from far away and reminds me of a woman who's come my way...
who makes me smile a little and makes me want to stay and dream away on a cloudy day
I feel I'm falling and falling really hard
for the serenity of her care that comes and goes
and I wonder if its truly there
But at her picture I wonder and stare , she's wonderful, she's Perfect

She is YOU...
You make me dream
Though I said I'd never dream again everytime you betrayed on me...
I care about you w/o expecting anything in return which is a special gift to you from me
And if God chooses to smile upon humility
maybe somehow…
You'll be the one meant for me
My caring for you is without an expectation of something in return , as caring is meant to be
This feels real ,more than a simple crush...
because the feeling came so easy and naive...Even you stabbed the naiveness afterwards...
and it still feels so gentle and serene and unique ;

like nothing I've felt or seen but only dreamed of in a dream…

Is this it ?

2008-12-22T08:54:00.000-08:00

Truth fears no questions.

2008-12-22T01:47:00.000-08:00

Whenever you have truth it must be given with LOVE, or the message and the messenger will be rejected.

Mahatma Gandhi

When you don't tell people what you really think, you are not being kind. People cannot change and grow if all they get are insincere niceties.

Duane Alan Hahn

The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Liar's motto: If at first you don't deceive, lie, lie again.
Duane Alan Hahn

Dare to be true: NOTHING can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows
two thereby. George Herbert

It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. ~
"Homer Simpson" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the one moment you chose to LIE us, you lost the greatest moments to come.
Burak Cetinoglu

This is what we gonna do next...Get Ready

2008-12-21T12:03:00.000-08:00

As a diver you are weightless and can move in all directions. You approach the freedom of a bird as you move in three dimensions in a fluid environment.

I believe in you...

2008-12-21T10:47:00.001-08:00

and i Belive that you have the skill to create that miracle for Rutkowski's this xmas...

For the sake of...You..Not someone else...

2008-12-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

I know you are waiting for my other blogs…the ones that I wrote at the airport… or my 10 reason if she is the one..or something from last night...or myabe one of my visions...
But I think you need this one more, right now..The others may wait for another couple of hours…
It must so difficult for you…
And most probably it has been like this for a long time…
Coming home, with a great joy…excitment...which you were longing for that for a while..
Then just because of silly reasons…
Everything gets screwed up…

When it comes to love…You told me…I told you.. We told to each to other...
Love is important..It s that simple…But when it comes to relationships…
Love may not be enough sometimes...
You need more…but just a litle bit more...again simple things…understanding the one you love…does not need a great sacrifice...Isn't that complicated...thinking of your partner before taking every decision…
Putting yourself into your partners' shoes…Not so hard...Comes from heart...

This one is not about us...So far, you loved me..but in tough times, or in good times, or in normal times, you haven't seen the need or necassity to take of your shoes for a second and put on mine..Hope one day, before it's too late...Hope one day You'll respect me truely and do it...Now maybe you gonna see things more clear...

Maybe one day...
Sometimes I’ll do it…sometimes you’ll do it…
But has to be done in one way… or another...

Sometimes nobody does...There, the relationships stops...

I think it is the case of your parents... I know i am in no position to make any comment, for that forgive me if i cross the line...

You have just said to me; how I know what to say what to do about the Istanbul pictures, and all time i know things...
Do not underestimate yourself…
You also DO know what to do in a lot of circumstances (excluding our relationship. but this article is not about us. That's why i am, i was, questioning the unacceptable acts or words of yours..such an intelligence...such a great love...How can she do it...How can she STILL do it...)

Anyway, Coming back to yours...
I believe that you have tried a lot of spells, a lot of thoughts for your parents… A lot of focus..A lot wishes...A lot of talking with the Full Moon...
If they did not work, then try more. Do more of your spells…
Did you ever try to speak with them ?
You gonna say to me that , i don’t know them..and it s impossible to speak with them..
Correct…I don't know them..
But..Also they are human..That i know...and deep down there…they love each other…They have just lost it…for some reasons..

It ain't matter at this point why or how or when they've lost it...

You have to hold their hands…God gave you 2 hands Alinka..
With your left hand, hold your mothers…
With your right…your fathers…
Then make them hold their hands…

You have to figure out the way… This i can not lead you...
Or you take them out for a dinner…and make them a childish play…rules driven by you…simple ;
During the dinner , they can only speak with you and with your brother but not among themselves..So, in this way they will be able to see their partner, from a third eye… they don t fight..they listen to you..they laugh..they listen to their thoughts, without interrupting eachother..

Or...
Send flowers to your mum…sign your dads name…and say to your father ; “ Dad, whatever happens today, if you love me a bit, say yes to everything that my mum will say to you and promise me this will be between you and me”..so , when your mum calls him, to thank to him…maybe one word of her…will make him smile…. and make him talk..instead of walking away in hard times...
Buy a tie to your dad and play the same game to your mum…

There are millions of things you can do…I know how hard it is..and it will be… really tough..you know it better than i do...You will face a lot of demotivationg scenes too…but do not give up…at least when you have your chance…
Do not look to the point as you are saving a finished marriage. or helping to your parents..
You are helping to yourself…

Once you told me ; You are LOVE…your religion is love…
It is YOUR HOME…

Be a man…and fight this thing that is sucking this LOVE of you…
Your HOME, should be your castle…your source..Not me..Not someone else..not Paris..not the project helper non whirlpool guy hitting on you, not your inner world, not Ally Mcbeal…Your source of LOVE must be your Home…Because you were born there...( well, your case may be different due to the fact that you may be an A.I but...assuming you were born...)
But not the memories in that home... Memories are good...Good to remember..But you can not live with them..It'll destroy you...

Make it…You'll do it…You are strong enough…You may be young..You may be talking about dicks in the breakfast,or you may have done silly things,or you may have hurt me a lot of times...But these does not change the fact that you are SMART enough..creative enough...strong enough..Happy enough...Full of LOVE..also for them...When you get demoralized or lose your motivation..I am right here…to back you up…

Do it…Once they have loved each other…If they are not giving to themselves a chance, do not be selfish as they are…You give that chance to them…You have to switch their shoes when they are sleeping...If they are not putting themselves into their shoes anymore...You do it...for the sake of your own happiness…

Greedy You Are....

2008-12-19T05:41:00.000-08:00

but also so Lovable...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYA6e-_s8ac

I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
When you came my way
You brightened every day
With your sweet smile
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying and I'm falling
and I'm falling

Coming to my blog page..soon...

2008-12-17T05:08:00.000-08:00

Till then...
Just know that ;
I've missed you

When a man loves a woman.....

2008-12-16T07:56:00.000-08:00

A good summary of the situation that i am in..Well said..in this case ; well sang...

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothing else
He'll trade the world
For the good thing he's found
If she's bad he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down
When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Tryin' to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way it ought to be
Well, this man loves a woman
I gave you everything I had
Tryin' to hold on to your precious love
Baby, please don't treat me bad
When a man loves a woman
Down deep in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she plays him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Lovin' eyes can't ever see
When a man loves a woman
He can do no wrong
He can never own some other girl
Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels'
Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world
When a man loves a woman.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u_OnVhh82E

To Find, or To Choose THE ONE ??

2008-12-15T23:13:00.000-08:00

There is a difference between LOVING and being IN LOVE.

Being IN LOVE is a different KIND OF LOVE.

It is the KIND OF LOVE meant for THE ONE and ONLY.

That is God’s design.

That is why everyone desires THE ONE.

You can LOVE MANY but you can only be IN LOVE with ONE.

it's not that i'd choosen you...

Or you've choosen me...

It's just WE ARE THE CHOOSEN ONES...

***

2008-12-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

And I wonder if you know

How it really feels

To be left outside alone....

Living "US" is more than the "Being In the Moment"

2008-12-14T10:05:00.001-08:00

And i admit...
Finally...
Yes..Also i evolve...with You...
Together....

I've already allowed myself to "be"..And you ???

2008-12-14T09:28:00.000-08:00

Speaking about...Self Development, or in other words ; Self Knowledge...
I always tell you...You have to ask the right questions to yourself...Too many questions will lead to Confusion..and confusion to Doubts...And Doubts to.....i don't wanna even spell it...

The most important question for me, is when you ask to yourself before going to sleep, " the things that i am doing ; are making me happy ? "

There are some things about me ,that you are dying to know, what they are...i know..
One of them is ; the reason why i call you UNDONE ?

Because you still haven't responded to me the following questions ;
" What you are feeling ? "
" What you are thinking ? "

ohh, As you might know by now, When i mean A Respond, it's not a verbal thing...
The other questions have been responded..or let me say ; we are experiencing them now...
Just these 2 last ones...
Then we gonna be so Complete...

Togetherness...

2008-12-13T07:34:00.000-08:00

Togetherness...It is such a word, that i hadn't experienced before...

Last night, while i was there...among all of my friends, my body was there..not my mind...

How i it possible that i can think of you during every conversation or while taking a sip from my drink or seeing others dancing or even when i was just sitting..

How is it possible that i long to hear from you and check my phone 127 times...

How is it possible that i think of you that much...

How ?

Thank Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...mmmmmmmmmm

2008-12-12T05:27:00.001-08:00

Into My Arms...

2008-12-11T02:18:00.000-08:00

But I believe in Love

And I know that you do too

And I believe in some kind of path

That we can walk down, me and you

So keep your candles burning

And make her journey bright and pure

That she will keep returning

Always and evermore
Into my arms, O Lord, into my arms

Into my arms, O Lord, into my arms

Close your eyes...and get ready for the next massage

2008-12-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

Next time....

The Orange will take you to another dimension...

and you have NO IDEA....

but you gonna love it

A Polish Girl in Paris

2008-12-10T09:53:00.000-08:00

And YESSSS

I am soooo exiceted...

WE will be there...

No just you...

WE WILL LIVE it together...

WE will experience it togehter

I just can't wait for it...

You need TO KNOW....

2008-12-10T09:47:00.000-08:00

My Dear,
My Sweetie,
There are a lot to tell you...
I know i have been speaking so much....But i have a lot to tell you...more..more...
I want you to know a lot of things...
I want you to know that it is OK to cry..
It is not right to keep yourself bottled up inside...
i wish you could know how truly i love you
it is indescribable, all the feelings of come to..
When you need a shoulder cookie, mine is free..
I will be your best friend, when you need...
You need to know that i ain't a hero
But for you, i can create everything from zero
i wish you could know my thoughts that run through my head
I wanted you to know that i am here for you always
i will not be the one to leave you on your bad days
You need to know that the future is inevitable
We can not run or hide ourselves from it.
And ALinka,
i want you to know that i want this to last
i want to endure w/o the fear of the past
I want you to know that i will dance with you...
Not till the end of love...
Till the very end...
ohhh and i will make you feel so....the ONE...
Sometimes i got confused
But this confusion clears when i am with you
i wish you could know how fast i did fall
My love for you ; grew fastest at all..

Parasol...

2008-12-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

You started to drag....

But this time, not your past....

A Know How.Maybe the last one..Regarding to who i am..

2008-12-05T05:40:00.000-08:00

I'D thought for a second that you'd understand who i am.....

Every time a single life format is born, there's a different positioning of stars. Every individual has their own rising ( shining ) star. This star influences their lifes in a significant way. Because the existence if the ascendant, rising star , is totally depends to the life format.

The ascendant or rising sign, is the zodiacal sign and degree that was ascending on the eastern horizon at the specific time and location of an event. According to astrological theory, celestial phenomena reflect or determine human activity on the principle of 'as above so below'.

Thus astrologers believe that the ascendant signifies a person's awakening consciousness, in the same way that the Sun's appearance on the eastern horizon signifies the dawn of a new day.
Because the ascendant is specific to a particular time and place, it signifies the individual environment and conditioning that a person receives during their upbringing, and also the circumstances of their childhood.

For this reason, the ascendant is also concerned with how a person has learned to present him or herself to the world, especially in public and in impersonal situations. In some circumstances, it can therefore function as a shield or mask to guard a person's real nature - in other words the 'defense mechanism' every person has to cope with unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations. The ascendant also has a strong bearing on a person's physical appearance and overall health.
The Ascendant is thus considered to be of great significance in all schools of astrology because it in effect serves as the filter through which everything in a horoscope- including the Sun and Moon- is expressed. Most astrologers believe that the Rising Sign exerts an influence equal to or more powerful than the Sun and Moon. In Jyotish, the ascendant is without question the most individual and defining element in the chart.
Another factor concerning the effect of the ascendant is the theory that people become more like their sun sign after around 30 years old, as they grow older and more confident and thus have less of a need to present a public face to others. It is also theorised that when the progressed ascendant moves into the following sign, it weakens the influence of the natal ascendant..

In other words Alinka, the more i shine , the more happy you will be...Even though you don't want your happinies to be dependent to me...to your star...
Just a very quick example ; yesterday you made me relaxed a little....and as a result ;Look to today...You laughed a lot with the video, You are going to Paris...

Do you think among all of those cities, that you could have gone, is it a coincidence that you are going to one of the 2 cities , you wanted to go ?
There's no such a think called as coincidence.
I knew how you wanted to go Paris, or to Barcelona...
and i sacrifisied myself...
I could have focused on Comerio, too...For us, for myself...
But i have focused , i diverted my mindset, my prays, my thoughts for you to go to Barcelona or Paris...
"T" issue is very important, but how come would you expect me to continue believing you , after forgetting such a thing ? Thos morning's result...

How can i shine...
I will always ask for your happiniess...
But when it comes to mine ....
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
Can't it be, can't it be mine

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6X8Ic86Hx3w

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iOcfwagyjFY

A little???

2008-11-26T03:34:00.000-08:00

and you've just told me that ; " A little "....

After Yesterday night , i am still fighting for us...

The war between my head and my heart is getting bigger...

My heart is giving a very brave fight...

I just wanna think about you...Just You...Only You...

Missing you...and in return....

A little...

Are you kidding me ? i thought so, too but you confirmed that it was not a joke or a tease...

and what do i do now?

You are taking away all the weapons of my heart....

The Alley...Our Journey...to the unknown..to the Discovery..the dark Alley...started to get illuminated...

but not a type of light that takes us to peace...A type of light, we both wouldn't like.....

Why....

It s as you say...it should be as you say..so simple....

Beni Al(din)...

2008-11-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

Her gecen gun seninle beraber...kendimi daha da baglanmis hissediyorum...
Garip bir duygu...Sanki hayatimin sonuna kadar seni yanimda hissetmeyi isteyecek gibiyim...
Gerci hayat bu, hic belli olmaz...hele hele benim gibi dengesiz , ne istedigini bilmeyen bir mahlukatsan...
Sana diyecegim sudur guzel kiz ; seni gercekten seviyorum ve ayaklarim yere basmiyor su an....
Gola oldun once...simdi de chagall da bulduk kendimizi...
sirada ne var ?
4 nikah bir cenaze mi ?

The life you desire is only a few visualizations away....

2008-11-23T12:45:00.000-08:00

The 13th Moon in my life...is You....

2008-11-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

There is some kiss we want with our whole lives,the touch of Spirit on the body.
Sea water begs the pearl to break its shell.
And the lily, how passionately it needs some wild Darling!
At night, I open the window and ask the moon to comeand press its face into mine.Breathe into me.
Close the language-door,and open the love-window.
The moon won't use the door,only the window.

Happy

2008-11-19T08:22:00.001-08:00

"Love each other and kiss each other, you'll be having wonderful moments in life and tell Burak to learn Polish so that we can talk when he comes to visit"

How can such a simple and short sentence can make a person THIS happy ???

Thank you...

Warriors of the Rainbow....

2008-11-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

When the earth is ravaged and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds, and who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again.

They will be known as the Warriors of the Rainbow

Law of Threefold Return

2008-11-18T04:20:00.000-08:00

“ Do as ye will, as long as ye harm none ”

and i wanna believe you'll will not hurt me anymore...

You know what i would want most in this world...more than anything...I want you to hold my hand....just hold my hand and look into my eyes, to my soul, in an Esbat...

I think, it's one of the steps you have to take, to take us to immortal love...

Would you be my Selene ?

Come again, please, come again.....

2008-11-18T04:09:00.000-08:00

"Come again, please, come again,Whoever you are.
Religious, infidel, heretic or pagan.
Even if you promised a hundred times
And a hundred times you broke your promise,
This door is not the door of hopelessness and frustration.
This door is open for everybody.
Come, come as you are."

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iNm76HwBHvM&feature=related

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=S45OJnQp6mI&feature=related

The way of the Sword

2008-11-14T03:58:00.000-08:00

Infinite Love is the Only Truth.
Everything Else is Illusion...

Carpe....

2008-11-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? --- Carpe (he whispers) --- hear it? --- (he whispers) Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary!"

i want to make every day of yours extraordinary.....that i wanna paint your days with joy, laugh , peace , happiness and purple....That's truly what i want....To be a part of your play...stay there...till hearing such claps that make the ears deaf...but i can not perform in the way i want, when i can not concantrate...

And you are SO not helping me to concantrate...

Ayni Nakarat....

2008-11-13T06:44:00.000-08:00

ee ne yazayim simdi ?
Gene bir cuval inciri berbat ettin, afferin sana...
Hani biraz rahatliyalim, relax olalim , buldugun Cuba seyahatinin keyfini cikaralim, Istanbul a gitmemenin heyecaninda olalim...yok...
Sen daha gecmisini beraberinde getir....
Sen daha baskalarini uzmemek icin dusuncesiz hareketlerine devam et...
Ben burada bascavusun essegiyim cunku...zicip sivadiktan sonra istedigin kadar seni seviyorum de, heyecanliyim de...hadi leyyyn oradan derim ben de...

Ne yapacagiz peki simdi ???

Gemiler...

2008-11-12T05:07:00.000-08:00

Sen gecerken sahilden sessizce,

Gemiler kalkar yuregimden gizlice

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QCjxiKp5kaY

Just a remark from the w/e

2008-11-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

It was one of the nights when we had lost the meaning of time. We drag ourselves into the bed. I was tired but couldn't sleep. Because you were there,next to me, with all your beauty...so watchable..adorable...Seeing you like that...I didn t wanna close my eyes...just wanted to see you, watch you as much as possible..
I tell you that you’re beautiful....You make me feel , like i am young again as you run your fingers through my hair.
Every time i said , every single time ; i meant it ....when I said that you were beautiful. My heart beat is steady and calm when you speak....my heart beat doubles when you just look into my eyes...right into my soul...and I wonder if yours is the same.
And all those lights from the moon, from the street lights go inside through your window , add an extra glow to your face that I have not yet seen before, and it is at that moment I notice your smile. The smile ladies and gentelmen...The most gorgeous smile that I have ever seen. The most gorgeous smile that has ever been seen by anyone. At that moment I know nobody in your life had not seen what I had seen. No one has not thought what I have thought, has not felt what I had felt.Because, at that very second, I found out that i had discovered incomparable beauty.
I'd discovered you...

The Will to Act...

2008-11-11T04:30:00.000-08:00

You have learned to bury your guilt with anger.
I will teach you to confront it, and to face the truth.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zqrhzwu766E

Out of System ???????

2008-11-08T11:39:00.000-08:00

The truth is darling ;
You've broken my heart and you knew that,
but now here's the thing ;
The love that you gave me is worse than a drug,
and to get more,
I'd do anything....
Yet it hurts...
Still....

Something Not About "Us"

2008-11-07T06:27:00.000-08:00

~To Will~

The Will of an experienced magickal practitioner should be capable of directing their life to their satisfaction and likewise for their higher benefit and that of evolution. In its greater form, the Will should be capable, in rare circumstances, of directing the course of events beyond themselves, such as the environmental destruction (man-made) or in cases of threat, either personal or planetary. In all cases the energy raised is for defence rather than attack.No magickal tool of a material nature can be charged without the power of the disciplined Will. No circle can be cast, neither can it defend the individual. No elements can be invoked and the Gods, most definitely, remain only the figment of myth.This list is seemingly endless. Therefore, although initiation may be considered acceptable prior to the development within this work, it is your personal and imperative responsibility to attend to the discipline of your own Will an to consider it as foremost in your self-training.

~To Know~

Apart from the nature of things that interest you generally, it is important that you accumulate as much knowledge of the diverse nature concerning the occult path as you can, as there is power in knowledge for its own sake. All manner of related subjects can only assist you in your work - things of an anthropological, religious, philosophic nature, works by other occultists, material pertinent to affirm what you learn, ie astrology, numerology, tarot, herbalism and the healing arts in general, mythology, history, etc.With all the information that you receive it is important that you take time to put the qualities of your own mind into action to enable you to ascertain the difference between what is purely hearsay on the part of the authors concerned. All things are to be analysed and should lead to a balanced viewpoint based on your own judgement.No knowledge is ever wasted and it is necessary to know enough to trust your own findings. Ignorance is never bless, and all material viewed can only extend your capabilities of Mind. The material you employ that directly affects your magick is to be learnt so that natural flow occurs which allows other factors of a natural kind to enter into your work.
~To Dare~

Assuming you have done your work with self-training, and begun disciplining of the Will, you will now be in a position to experiment with what you have learned. You may find it beneficial to have all the information at your disposal before you take on the challenge of daring.Having decided to take up a magickal path, you are now to centre your skills on the use of ritual and seek to serve by way of experimenting with the forces around you. Take heed to interfere in no areas that does not personally concern you and where all acts of spellcraft are concerned, do not exceed your own ability - to do so would doom your work to failure and waste power of an astral nature. Say nothing to anyone of your experiment, as that also would doom it to fail.

~To Keep Silent~

In all things this is a very important and necessary function. Unless you have absolute faith in the person with whom you wish to discuss your path, then say nothing. Personal experience has taught that unless your 'cup is full' you will only deplete what you wish to store by tossing it around, and always remember the world is full of scared, bigoted people.You should treat your Book of Shadows/grimoire as sacred and not sharing the material with anyone unless they are prepared to follow the same path. After all you are working with the Gods and they will not be profaned.Remember - never boast, never threaten. Acts of spellcraft are a thankless business due to the very fact that if you discuss them with others they do not come to pass as they are reduced to the boundaries of the mundane. If you tell of them after they have worked few will believe you in this sceptical world anyway. The times you will have acknowledgment of your undertaking will be if you come to find like-minded people but be careful and discerning as there are those who would suck you dry of all you have learned and then leave for the gratification of their own power. There are many who will seek power for the sake of power itself, and they are those who endanger the Goddess and the gifts she bestows.Therefore, speak not of what you know at all until you become that which you seek to serve.

Putting in a different way

2008-11-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

She said ;

It's private.........

Because everything that i shared so far, weren't private....You can find'em in T folder..

Still Undone.......

2008-11-06T01:17:00.000-08:00

"When it's love you give ,

then it's love you live"

And she says she is in love with herself.....

2008-11-06T01:11:00.000-08:00

Togetherness is the feeling of being close to another person emotionally and physically. It is an emotion which cannot be definited outside of its current sociological meaning, and the reality of such a term is not "knowledge."

It is well symbolized by the gesture of holding both hands up, slightly cupped with palms facing each other, and moving them together to create a circle.

The other symbol is also when two arms hold each other at the wrist.

Only You..Once again...

2008-11-05T04:34:00.001-08:00

It's only you,

Who can tell me apart,

And it's only you,

Who can turn my wooden heart...

.....

2008-11-04T23:17:00.001-08:00

I had wanted to do that last night...

:((
Whispering you...touching myself...hearing touching yourself...on the phone...till both of us........

I wish you'd feel....

and i am not kidding.....

2008-11-04T11:58:00.000-08:00

She is aggressive...to me...

2008-11-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

I still haven't figured out the reason why of your aggressive behaviours.....

It is not " being sensitive" ....

mmm don't know...

Strength and Honour

2008-11-04T07:19:00.000-08:00

The definition of being a Turk as "any individual whatever his faith who speaks Turkish, grows up with Turkish culture and adopts the Turkish ideal is a Turk."

The Turks had been considered as highly-qualified and superior people by the foreigners and their capacities, beauties and bravery were always praised.

The Wolf symbolizes honour and is also considered the father of most Turkic peoples. Asena (Ashina Tuwu) is the wolf mother of Tumen Il-Qagan, the first Khan of the Göktürks.

In the Bible, Togarmah, son of Gomer, was ancestor of the Turkic-speaking peoples. His sons Ujur (Uyghur: Mongol-Turks), Tauris, Avar, Uauz (Oghuz Turks), Bizal, Tarna, Khazar, Janur, Bulgar, and Sawir (Sabir, a Turkic people, probably of Hunnic origin) are the mythical founders of tribes that once lived around the Black and Caspian Seas.

We have never surrounded..Not even one single war...

We died till to the last man...

We live with honour...

and die with honour.....

Simple

2008-11-03T07:59:00.000-08:00

Do you know that sometimes sweet ryhme comes into my head....
In that moment you hold me, touch me and love me

and we dream of what we can be

Simple Dreams, Simple Whisperings....
Pure..Naive...Simple it is...

She's comin'...again...i can get used to that...

2008-11-03T05:55:00.000-08:00

I think i am gonna see her in a couple of hours....

And that's how i feel right now

It has started.....

2008-11-03T02:41:00.000-08:00

Close your eyes...Fasten your seat bell...have a sip from your water...and forget about everything that you used to think they were beautiful....
Becuase as is today , Your journey starts....Your discovery...
I opened the Pandora's box....All you have to do is go with the flow....just let yourself go...

Eveything you have experienced with me so far, was just the "ramp-up"...

and now....

Said a friend of mine....

2008-11-02T23:35:00.000-08:00

I saw the email today....from a friend who knows me the best....Maybe there were at least 15-20 pick-up lines ..but just one ;

..."Distance makes the heart grow fonder"....

Thank you dude...Thank you....

Would you ever understand ????

2008-11-02T08:48:00.000-08:00

I guess the picture tells a lot...isn't it ?
Actually there r a lot to speak...a lot to discuss...a few to accept...a lot to move on...
It's simple..but also very complicated and painfull....

Goodnight Moon...

2008-11-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

The other night ,
i couldn t sleep....
i went out to the balcony....with the great silence covering the road...the lake.... Your Lake..
i raised up my head to the sky...
i saw the moon...
We had a "moment"....we looked into our eyes...
He saw my tears...
He asked me ;

"If she makes you cry, why don't you just go.... "
Maybe he was right...maybe he is...
and then i asked to him ;
"Would you ever leave your sky ? "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRqUONe_aAI

That Someone....

2008-10-30T08:54:00.001-07:00

Thinking of someone....Looking to the watch, counting down the seconds for the moment that i am gonna see that someone...The very thought of that someone makes my entire body gets warm even in the very coldest day...coldest moments.....
The touch of that someone's hand sends "chill downs" till to my spine.....That day, when i was close to walk away , i didn t want to hug that someone, because i know that even one taste of that someone's lips. would have made me confused....and i couldn't go..could't left...couldn't do what i was very good at....and i stopped and changed my mind even w/o touching to that someone's lips....It was just the very thought of that someone....
Thanks to that someone....i started tasting natures' deepest secret to life, which is ....so we call ;....You know what....
When the smile of that someone hit my eyes , it s like a bright ray of sunshine looking down from above...

Dust in the wind.....

2008-10-30T03:18:00.000-07:00

I CLOSE MY EYES, only for a moment, and the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind
Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind.

Sky...

2008-10-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

Things about us ,

About you...How i say ONLY you...

The feeling you give me,
The several ways you make me smile

makes me feel like i am flying,

than i am as high as the sky....a Vanilla one....

and if i FALL ; you will catch me....

You make me feel like i am the only one...Even though we had some black moments...days...

But it's like...

like nothing else matters

like nothing can hurt me

you make me feel so ....

that even the thought of it ; puts a smile on my face

It feels like we are ONE

That we complete each other
we share
every second

every breath

every look
every kiss

every touch

every smell

every chocolate

You are my and only............................................................ Cookie ..............

Your Approach...

2008-10-29T03:37:00.001-07:00

Here i am , standing before you, naked but so unaware...my body is shaking with every breath i take in, while looking into your eyes..while waiting for your approach

then waiting forward to embrace you in ectasy...

Ohh my sweet, my young vampire...

i will be standin' before you, naked ,waiting to be drained again...

26.10.2008

2008-10-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

Where the TWO roads meet..Episode II

2008-10-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

I am coming....
to you......
to US

Vargit Çiçeği

Mimimimmimiiii

Heal the World.....

Button's Button...

City of a Hundred Names...

More than...me...is you...

Just a bit of Appreciation...Late..but not too late...

You must become more than just a man in the mind of your opponent

What have i done ?

Talk...

Being asked to verbalize my feelings....Don't push for it...

Small Details....

Forgiveness...

Something ( Someone ) to Believe in...

Life

Why vs Why Not

The Proffessor's Daughter

The ONE..

She's opened the window.....

Weird = Special

The Promise of a Witch

Sending out an S.O.S

Love is a SHIELD

The roots of us is...

Loving you...

Back to....

My Limits of Patience

IN - OUT says a wise man

I've missed it......

Just a few lines about "HER"

Are you really Alone?

My Gift for you today

The Sweetest thing

Gaia's Song

A Saturday Night...

Love of the Pagans...

Hate ??...Just Love...

It's not fair...

A Great Movie...Not a cliche Love story...

11 Reasons why she may be THE ONE ...Is she ??

Once upon a time....

Istanbul Today....

Maybe not this time my old friend...

The way of the Warrior

Storm Clouds Gathering

Is this it ?

Truth fears no questions.

This is what we gonna do next...Get Ready

I believe in you...

For the sake of...You..Not someone else...

Greedy You Are....

Coming to my blog page..soon...

When a man loves a woman.....

To Find, or To Choose THE ONE ??

******* ****

Living "US" is more than the "Being In the Moment"

I've already allowed myself to "be"..And you ???

Togetherness...

Thank Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...mmmmmmmmmm

Into My Arms...

Close your eyes...and get ready for the next massage

A Polish Girl in Paris

You need TO KNOW....

Parasol...

A Know How.Maybe the last one..Regarding to who i am..

A little???

Beni Al(din)...

The life you desire is only a few visualizations away....

The 13th Moon in my life...is You....

Happy

Warriors of the Rainbow....

Law of Threefold Return

Come again, please, come again.....

The way of the Sword

Carpe....

Ayni Nakarat....

Gemiler...

Just a remark from the w/e

The Will to Act...

Out of System ???????

***